When depression affects a relationship, it often brings emotional distance, tension, and confusion. One partner’s struggle with depression can make communication difficult. This often leads to more conflict and misunderstandings.
In the U.S., over 20% of adults face mental health issues, with depression being a major concern. For couples, it’s important to understand how depression can affect their relationship. Learning how to cope together helps keep their connection strong.
Effect of Depression on Relationships
The emotional, physical, and psychological symptoms often lead to a breakdown in communication, trust, and intimacy, leaving both partners feeling disconnected. It can significantly impact relationships in various ways:
1. Emotional Withdrawal
Depression often causes feelings of isolation or numbness. This emotional distance can make it difficult for the person experiencing depression to connect with their partner, leading to feelings of being ignored or unloved.
They might stop engaging in activities they once enjoyed or show little interest in spending time together. Often, this withdrawal is not intentional. Depression creates feelings of numbness or detachment that can make connecting with others feel impossible.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), around 17.3 million adults in the U.S. experienced a major depressive episode in 2017. This highlights how common depression. Many relationships are affected by these feelings of detachment.
2. Loss of Interest in Intimacy
Depression often lowers someone’s sex drive or makes closeness feel overwhelming. The partner might notice that the person no longer starts small acts of affection like holding hands or cuddling. This happens because depression causes both emotional and physical exhaustion. It’s part of the struggle with depression.
In fact, studies show that 40% to 50% of individuals with depression experience some form of sexual dysfunction. This loss of interest isn’t about the partner or the relationship. It’s a symptom of a mental health condition.
3. Irritability and Mood Swings
While sadness is a well-known symptom of depression, irritability is often overlooked. Depression can cause mood swings, resulting in frequent irritability or anger, even over small issues. This can manifest as frustration with a partner for seemingly trivial matters in a relationship. The person may lash out or become uncharacteristically short-tempered, creating tension and misunderstandings.
This emotional volatility can be distressing for both partners, making it crucial to approach the situation with empathy. Studies have noted that people with depression experience irritability as a key symptom. Mood swings are not uncommon in relationships where one partner is depressed.
4. Negative Self-Talk
People with depression often engage in negative self-talk, expressing feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy. In a relationship, this may translate into statements like “I don’t deserve you” or “You’d be better off without me.” They may express doubts about their value in the relationship or fear they’re a burden on their partner.
When someone feels depressed, their negative self-image can hurt the relationship by making them doubt their value. Their partner needs to offer support and reassurance. However, they should also gently encourage seeking help from a mental health professional.
5. Lack of Energy and Motivation
Depression saps energy, leaving the person feeling constantly fatigued. Simple tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or even engaging in conversations can feel exhausting. In a relationship, this can lead to an imbalance where one partner takes on more responsibilities, which may cause frustration or resentment. But it’s important to understand that this lack of motivation is a symptom of depression, not laziness or lack of effort.
The World Health Organization (WHO) states that depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, affecting over 264 million people. This statistic stresses how debilitating depression can be and why it often leaves people feeling incapable of participating fully in their relationships.
6. Increased Conflict
All relationships have conflicts. But when depression is involved, arguments might become more frequent. The person struggling with depression might feel misunderstood. While the other partner may feel helpless or frustrated. Miscommunication becomes common. And what were once minor disagreements can escalate into more serious conflicts.
Talking openly is the best way to deal with this, especially with a therapist’s help. Without professional support, conflict can grow. This can push partners apart.
The Role of External Stressors in Compounding Relationship Strain
External stress can put extra tension on relationships. Money problems, work stress, and family duties can add to the pressure. These issues can lead to misunderstandings and cause tension between partners. Knowing how outside stress affects your relationship can help you handle tough times. Working together to manage stress can make a big difference.
1. Financial Stress
Money troubles are one of the most common external stressors affecting a relationship. When partners face financial difficulties, it can lead to arguments over budgeting, spending habits and long-term goals. According to a 2015 American Psychological Association (APA) survey, 72% of Americans reported feeling stressed about money at least some of the time. Finances are a leading cause of relationship strain.
When financial stress takes hold, it often creates a cycle of anxiety and blame. Partners may feel overwhelmed by their situation. Without proper communication, they easily start blaming each other. This can lead to resentment and a breakdown in trust.
2. Work-Related Stress
Job pressures can weaken relationships. Long hours and tough deadlines leave people feeling drained. They often come home too tired to give their partner the attention they deserve, which can create emotional distance over time.
A Gallup poll found that 23% of employees feel burned out at work very often or always, with work stress often spilling over into their personal lives. This emotional fatigue can make partners feel irritable or distant, straining the relationship.
3. Family Obligations
Taking care of kids, aging parents, or handling family conflicts can really test a relationship. These outside responsibilities often take the attention away from each other, causing emotional and physical fatigue.
Couples caring for aging parents, for instance, face higher stress and strain because of the emotional and financial pressures. It’s easy for the relationship to feel the weight of these demands.
4. Health Concerns
Health issues, both physical and mental, can add stress to relationships. When one partner has a chronic illness, the other may feel overwhelmed by extra responsibilities. This can lead to frustration or burnout. Dealing with health problems can also cause emotional stress and misunderstandings.
How Can Couples Cope With Depression Together?
Coping with depression as a couple takes time, understanding, and communication. It can put a pressure on relationships, but working together can make things better. Talking openly is key. When one partner feels down, it’s important to talk about their emotions. Listening carefully without judging helps them feel less alone. Offering support can make a big difference. Even just in small ways. Stay patient and keep the lines of communication open. Working through it together makes the bond stronger.
Seeking professional help together is another step. Couples therapy can help both partners learn how to communicate and handle the effects of depression. It’s important to remember that depression is a medical issue. It’s not a sign of a failing relationship. Therapy or even reading up on the condition together can build understanding. This shared learning can strengthen the bond between partners. Facing challenges together as a team makes a huge difference.
Another way couples can cope is by establishing routines. Depression can throw off daily life, but having a routine adds stability. Encourage your partner to do small, easy tasks to help lift their mood. This can also boost their motivation. It’s also important to respect each other’s boundaries. Know when your partner needs space and when they need support.
Finally, self-care is important for both partners. Contact friends, family or a professional for help if you’re not feeling your best. Keeping yourself healthy helps prevent burnout. It also allows you to be there for your partner when they need you. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for both of you. Ensure you give yourself the same attention you give to your loved one.
How Does the TMS Institute of Arizona Specialize in Treating Depression?
Untreated depression can cause emotional withdrawal, irritability, and communication breakdowns between partners. The TMS Institute of Arizona provides several TMS treatment options, such as rTMS, Express TMS, Accelerated TMS, and MeRT. TMS uses magnetic pulses to focus on brain areas that control mood. It helps provide lasting relief from depression.
We ensure that each person gets the best possible outcome. Our focus is on ensuring you receive the right care for your needs by using TMS advanced technology. With expert care and cutting-edge therapies, we help individuals regain control of their mental health and achieve lasting recovery from depression. Connect with us. We use advanced technology and compassionate care to help individuals reclaim their lives and reconnect with their loved ones.
References
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Depression Statistics – Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. (2019, July 12). Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. https://www.dbsalliance.org/education/depression/statistics/
Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) | JanssenWithMe. (2016). Janssenwithme.com. https://www.janssenwithme.com/en/mental-health/major-depressive-disorder
Fava, M., Hwang, I., Rush, A. J., Sampson, N., Walters, E. E., & Kessler, R. C. (2009). The importance of irritability as a symptom of major depressive disorder: results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Molecular Psychiatry, 15(8), 856–867. https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2009.20
Kennedy, S. H., Dickens, S. E., Eisfeld, B. S., & Bagby, R. Michael. (1999). Sexual dysfunction before antidepressant therapy in major depression. Journal of Affective Disorders, 56(2-3), 201–208. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0165-0327(99)00050-6
Wigert, B. (2018, July 12). Gallup.com; Gallup. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/237059/employee-burnout-part-main-causes.aspx
Important: The content in this article is meant for general information and not medical diagnosis or treatment.
